Irish farmers – as we all know, being farmers ourselves – are funny folk and have reactions unique to themselves. These are mannerisms that city folk can never quite understand.
A case in point is the reaction of a typical Irish farmer to popular Christmas songs commonly played at this time of year – particularly if such song titles are taken literally.
To celebrate the 12 days of Christmas, here are 12 farmer responses to well-known jingles as the festive season takes over.
If you hear any of the following responses to some of these beloved Yuletide classics, it means you are in the presence of a bona fide Irish farmer with a strong connection to the countryside.
1. Silent Night: “Oh please God yes; I don’t want any more cows calving at 3:00am!”
2. Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!: “NO THANK YOU! I’ve had quite enough of that white stuff already! We need no memories of Storm Emma last year…”
3. Sleigh Ride: “Sounds promising. Can I hitch it up to the back of my 135?”
4. Driving Home For Christmas: “Sure it only takes a minute to walk over from the yard.”
5. Little Drummer Boy: “Tell that little ****** to keep it down! I’ve had a long day feeding livestock and cleaning sheds.”
6. It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year: “Well, it is when there’s no calving or lambing going on.”
7. Do They Know It’s Christmas?: “Ah surely they do; sure no one spends THAT long in the milking parlour.”
8. I’ll Be Home For Christmas: “Oh you’d better be home for midnight mass or the mother will kill us all!”
9. Fairytale Of New York: “Now don’t be getting any ideas of New York; I’ve livestock to feed – can’t be gallivanting off that far.”
10. Baby It’s Cold Outside: “Too bloody cold is right; the parlour was frozen this morning!”
11. Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town: “Any chance he could lend a hand while he’s here? The silage still has to be fed…”
12. All I Want For Christmas Is You: “Here, lads shut up! Mariah Carey is singing!”