A suspected cyber attack has seen €8/kg paid for Friesian bullocks at a number of marts countrywide today, Friday April 1.

Hackers reportedly gained access to the I.T systems of a number of the country’s marts.

They seemed to have a particular interest in plain Friesian and Jersey-bred bullocks.

One cattle dealer based in the midlands expressed his dismay at the hackers’ move to target the Friesian-bullock trade saying:

“The were coming at the right money and then the online hackers polled me into €8/kg.”

The location of the hackers remains unknown but the need for high-speed broadband to hack the Friesian-bullock trade would rule out the largest part of rural Ireland.

Commenting on the situation, Marty McManager was quick to affirm:

“Strictly no credit will be given to these mysterious bullock buyers.”

It is understood a large volume of black and white steers are now secured from numerous marts and speculation is rife as to where the hackers plan to graze these steers.

One suggestion is the cattle will go to grass at Dublin’s Phoenix Park while another suggestion is that they may be exported abroad to places such as Iceland.

‘Fartiliser’ – the answer to our climate concerns?

Meanwhile, Agriland has exclusive news from Irish start-up, ag-tech company, Fartiliser, that it is to unveil a drone that can collect biogenic methane and convert it to fertiliser.

The drone, aptly named ‘Silent but Deadly’, will float around fields of cows, sucking in the animals’ methane-rich farts and burps.

Using state-of-the fart technology, the methane can then be transformed into a nutrient-dense and highly valuable manure, which the company has self-titled, ‘fartiliser’.

Spokesperson for the company, Pasol Froil said that fartiliser could be the answer to our climate concerns, and plug a hole while traditional fertiliser prices rocket.

“But there is one downside to the product – it smells like sh*t*”, Froil added. It’s understood a team from the company’s research and development department is carrying out trials on odour reduction.