At sunrise on May 8, Thomas McCarthy and his family – mother Anne, and siblings Anna, Rachel and Niall – will watch the sun rise on their family farm in Ballinadee, Co. Cork, as part of Darkness into Light 2021.
This is the second year that the McCarthys will take part in this special event, which raises money for national suicide-prevention charity, Pieta.
But it is just one year since the tragic death by suicide of Thomas’s father, Paddy.
In the year since, Thomas and his family have raised more than €32,000 for suicide prevention, but what they are creating in terms of mental health awareness – in their locality and across the country – is something else entirely.
“It is such a serious issue,” said Thomas.
“In the space of six months, in a 10-mile radius of where we are living, three farmers died by suicide in 2020, including my father. All were over the age of 50.
“Men, generally speaking, don’t open up but with men in rural areas, and farmers, there’s this idea that you have to be macho and strong, and not talk about your feelings.”
This idea is a myth and it is one that Thomas, and his family, are eager to dispel.
“The heart and soul”
A beef and tillage farmer, Paddy McCarthy was just 59 years’ when he took his own life on May 1, 2020. The way he died was at odds with the man – the father and husband – that the family knew and loved so dearly.
“Dad was very humble and hardworking,” said Thomas.
“He loved life; loved farming and animals; and he loved the environment. He was really environmentally friendly in his farming and he was really proud of that
“He also loved music and dancing and would always go into Kinsale at the weekend listening to live music, and he loved Bruce Springsteen.
“At any family gathering, he was the heart and soul, always laughing, telling jokes, always so happy.
“That is why it was such a shock when he did it, because nobody expected it. He was just really good fun,” said Thomas.
Darkness into Light – helping others
The impact of Paddy’s death has been deeply profound.
In a way, it has brought the family closer together, said Thomas, as they support each other and try, through their fundraising, to prevent other families from experiencing what they have, and prevent other people from making the same choice that Paddy made.
Just days after Paddy’s death, the family set up a GoFundMe page, coinciding with Darkness into Light last year.
“Because of Covid-19, people couldn’t come to the house and pay their respects as usual when Dad died. So, we said we would set up the GoFundMe page as a way for everyone to show their respects while doing something good for Dad.
“We thought this might help someone somewhere who might be struggling with their mental health.
“The absolute worst thing for us was Dad dying by suicide but we were trying to be positive, and think if there was anyone out there who needed help, in what was such an awful year, then we wanted to do something for them.”
Reach out
Thomas’s message to anyone right now who is feeling low is to reach out and ask for help:
“Some men might think that they are being vulnerable or weak if they talk about their feelings, or if they say that they are feeling low but, in fact, it is the opposite.
“You are strong because you are acknowledging that there is a problem there and you want to do something to fix it.
“Just speak to someone – a family member or a friend – because as soon as you do, the problem is halved. And services, like Pieta, are there too.”
Ballinadee Bus
In the last year, Thomas and his siblings bought and renovated an old double-decker bus.
A pandemic project to help keep them occupied will become an Airbnb on the family farm (which will feature soon on a new TV show with architect, Dermot Bannon), and will also be used to raise money for Darkness into Light this year, as well as another worthy cause – Kelly’s Garden Wish.
A one-night stay in Ballinadee Bus will be raffled with all the proceeds going to Pieta and Kelly’s Garden Wish. All the details can be found on the Ballinadee Bus Instagram page.
Pieta services
Calls and texts to Pieta’s helpline directly relating to suicide, self-harm and suicide bereavement rose by 25% in December 2020 compared to December 2019.
Pieta said it is expecting the pandemic burden to have far-reaching implications throughout 2021.
In 2020, the charity delivered over 52,000 hours of therapy and answered over 70,000 calls and texts for help through their 24/7 crisis helpline.
Pieta operates a free 24-hour suicide helpline and a 24-hour text service.
Call: 1800 247 247; or text HELP to 51444.
Darkness into Light
Darkness into Light started with approximately 400 people walking the 5km course in Dublin’s Phoenix Park in 2009.
It has since grown into a global movement with over 200,000 people taking part in 150 locations in 16 countries across five continents (before Covid-19).